Going back to Chinosort of
by Keeprcrazy
Summary: This is a short story about Ryan thinking about taking a visit back to Chino. It takes place mid first season


Matthew Scheer

UW20-55 – Get a Life!

Fanfic Story Posting

March 29, 2005

**Going Back To Chino…Sort Of**

Ryan sits on the couch in the Cohen's livingroom, speaking to Marissa about a whole lot of nothing. Marissa sees in him a sense of loss and confusion, and asks him what is on his mind. "Whats on your mind Ry, you seem a little out of it today." Like a hammer hitting a glass table, Ryan replies boldly; _CHINO_. Marissa is shocked. She had no idea that would come out of Ryan's mouth. Chino was the last thing Marissa expected to come out of his mouth, and he had said it. "Ever since moving here Marissa, I've been like an animal out of my natural habitat." Marissa looked confused as she tried to understand what Ryan was getting at. She could not put two and two together. "Don't you get it?" Ryan said. "I'm not like this…I'm not FROM the O.C" "I am not a rich kid, my parents didn't drive expensive Mercedes and BMWs. I used food stamps, got into fights, and my parents shared a beat up old Buick from 1981!." Marissa's jaw is almost on the floor and she is at a loss for words, as she hadn't heard Ryan speak this passionately about Chino, let alone anything, in a while. "I know the Cohens took me into their home as a son, and I will always love them for that, and never be able to repay them for what they have done for me, but what am I supposed to do? Forget where I grew up and came from? That's not me Marissa, you know that that's not who I am." "Maybe you just miss it, and you will get over it, like a phase or something." Said Marissa. "No, I need to be in my environment, in my element. I need to be home, at least for a little bit." "What are you saying Ryan? That you want to move back?" Marissa said very hesitantly as she started to twirl her hair nervously and tap her toes on the floor. "No Marissa, I just want to visit, and see everyone, and be where I grew up, for maybe a weekend." Marissa was very supportive of the idea after she saw how passionate Ryan was about the subject. She realized that he is very emotional, and that this meant a lot to him. "That's very honorable of you Ryan" Marissa said, trying to rationalize the situation in her own way. "I will go with you if you want, it'll be fun." Ryan immediately declined. "I cant have you come with me Marissa, it just wont be the same. I need to go home alone, and take in the full effect as I had before I moved here. I need to make it real, or I wont get anything out of the experience at all." Marissa felt like she understood, but wanted him to stay close to her, and not to go back to Chino for fear that he would go back to his old rebel ways. "Why does it have to be like this Ryan? Why?" said Marissa as she started to tear and put her head in her hands. She started to get very emotional, and Ryan felt as though the blame was on his shoulders. "Look Marissa, I'm really sorry about all of this, but I have to go!" Ryan said, temporarily raising his voice before checking himself. He thought over the situation, and realized that he should probably confide in Seth and the Cohens before making his final decision to go back and visit, or not to. "Let me sleep on it, and I will let you know what I think I am going to do tomorrow." Ryan said, hesitantly to Marissa. "Here…let me walk you to the door" Ryan said. "I'll tell you what I decided on tomorrow." As they walk to the door, emotions are running wild through both Ryan and Marissa's heads, but neither of them says a word. They both realize that this decision could make or break their relationship. "Goodnight" Ryan said, as he kisses her on the cheek. He shuts the door behind her, wishing he could muster enough strength to say something more….but unable to.

The next day comes, and Ryan and Seth are sitting at the table sharing breakfast. "So what's it gonna be man?" Seth said to Ryan. "I don't know" he bluntly responded. "I feel as if me visiting Chino is the right thing to do, but then there are a million people and things that run through my mind, and then my mind is instantly changed." Seth realizes how much Ryan is feeling right now. "Maybe its not the right time man, you've only been away for about a year or so. Maybe you should wait a little longer, until you are really settled here, and _then_ go back and visit, see old faces." Seth feels as if he is doing the right thing by keeping Ryan in Newport for a little longer before letting him go back to visit Chino. "Maybe you are right. Maybe this _is _my new home. Maybe it's better off that I just get settled here first." Ryan had started to rationalize the situation, and then it clicked. He wants to go back, but cant. What he had left is now in the past, and rightfully so. His new family, home, and consequently his new life are all in the O.C now, and there was no changing or denying that. "Look man, I only want what's best for you. You are basically my brother now, and what's done is done." Seth patted Ryan on the back, letting him know that no matter how homesick he gets, his new home will be just as comforting. "Well, I had better tell Marissa the good news."

Ryan drives over to Marissa's house, to tell her the good news. Her parents let him in, and they go out to the backyard to discuss what the decision is. "Marissa, I've got some great news." Marissa is anticipating the worst, but when she hears that he has good news, is quickly lit up with a smile. "What is it?" Marissa said happily. "I've decided that it's not quite the time for me to take my trip to Chino. I don't feel that I'm very comfortable here yet, and want to take my trip back when I am totally settled in here in Newport." Marissa's smile glowed from ear to ear as she realized that Ryan had not only made that decision on his own, but took her into consideration. "I knew you would make the right decision Ryan" Marissa said gleefully. "And when you're ready to make that trip back to Chino, I will be right by your side, supporting you 100 percent of the time." Now that they had the situation all cleared up, they lay there, in the grass of Marissa's backyard. Ryan turned to Marissa, gave her a kiss on the cheek and said "Thanks for being there for me. I knew you would."


End file.
